


Troubled Childhoods

by Nocticola



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e10 Burned, Gen, Missing Scene, Nathan's backstory, but it's complicated, cathegorized Gen for a reason, messy end of a messy relationship, not a romantic relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 22:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Extended scene of Nathan and Jordan's conversation in 3x10.





	Troubled Childhoods

Jordan tries to get Nathan to understand why she did what she did. She did it for them. For the two of them, as well as everyone like them. Nathan must realize all the pain that will go away with Audrey Parker. She will take the Troubles away, make everything *normal* again. Why can’t Nathan see that? Is he really that blindly devoted to Audrey? Maybe what she did was messed up, but then, the Troubles make everything messed up. 

“I did this to end the Troubles. I did this for us.”

Nathan looks at her with that particularly Nathan look, when he’s trying to decide whether to talk or not, to reveal something or not. 

“Were you Troubled as a kid? During the last cycle?” Nathan asks, voice the same if he was asking about yesterday’s weather. The question takes her aback. There are certain things you rarely ask about. Troubled status is one thing. What one’s Trouble is, is another. Your triggering event is something you share if you want to, but it’s never asked. How many times you’ve been afflicted is something Jordan’s not sure she’s heard before, unless that particular cycle is specifically in question.

“No, I wasn’t”, she doesn’t elaborate whether she was too young, or lacked a trigger, because those aspects don’t matter. Nathan nods his head slightly.

“Believe it or not, I’m genuinely glad of that,” there’s more emotion in Nathan’s voice now, and Jordan does believe him. There is a moment of silence and Jordan waits patiently for Nathan to break it, to explain.

“I was 7 when I was first Troubled. At least, that’s how I remember it.” Jordan is curious what that might mean, before remembering that Nathan’s a Hansen by birth. “I hit a tree when sledding and broke my arm so badly the bone broke through my skin, my jacket and I didn’t notice until I got back up with the other kids and they started screaming, crying, puking. I ended up spending a long time at the hospital, trying to figure out how to function without a sense of touch. I came back to school a freak and God’s gift to bullies. I was Troubled for 2 hellish years until it finally went away.”

Nathan had never really opened up to her like this. She’s still not quite sure where all this is coming from now.

“You were willing to use a Troubled, traumatized 9 year old.” Now Nathan looks at her, and he’s angry. Jordan understand the point now. 

“If you really knew Audrey, you’d know she doesn’t require a fucking incentive to do what’s right. But using a kid, Jordan, a 9 year old child? How could you condone that? How could you take any part in something like that?”

“I am trying to save this town! No matter what! Ends justify the means.” Now she’s angry. Whether it’s to partially mask her guilt, she’d never admit, even to herself. 

“Even one of *us*? She’s a scared child, who lost her mother and just wanted her father back. You were willing to use her pain to end your own? To manipulate Audrey? To use me to do it?”

Jordan not quite sure how to respond to Nathan’s accusations. She’s so tired of everything. Tired of the state Haven is in. Tired of how she wants Nathan, for his touch or for him, she’s not quite sure anymore. Everything is a mess and Jordan just wants it to end.

“Are you going to let her go? If and when she chooses to leave, for Haven, like you assume?” She’s tired, but there’s still enough accusation in her voice to let her feel justified when Nathan’s face closes up and he doesn’t answer. 

“That’s why. I did it for us.” She doesn’t know whether she means Nathan and her anymore but she doesn’t have to wonder long because Nathan does reply to this.

“There is no us.” Jordan sees Audrey by the door. Of course she's there.

“Yeah. I figured that part out.”

She leaves the station. Her and Nathan are over, if they ever really were anything real at all. But she at least has hope that Nathan is right about what Audrey will do. She may never get Nathan, but maybe she can still get normal.


End file.
